Past Woes
by Transformersfan123
Summary: Robin had left his past in Gotham behind him, but that one day every year he relives it. When he is strained to the breaking point, will he finally trust his friends with his burdens, or will they overwhelm him? Can he ever face Batman again after their last confrontation? And more importantly, will his greatest secret finally come out to an unexpected person? Rated T for language.
1. Chapter 1

Hey everyone. I originally posted this under Circus Woes, but I changed the storyline after getting writers' block on this story. I shall be updating soon, depending on the number of reviews I get. :)

Hope you all enjoy. :)

* * *

Robin stared silently over the city, trying to rid himself of old memories, but to no avail. He could see them so clearly, though he wished he couldn't.

_The trick had been so simple. Release, flip, then grab on to the next trapeze and swing to the next trick, which was much more complicated. The rope wasn't supposed to break, sending his parents plummeting to the floor below. Robin could remember the harsh crunches of bones breaking and the blood that splattered the arena. In all the commotion, not one person had thought to protect him, a mere six year old boy, from seeing his parents' ruins. The image of their broken bodies still lingered in his mind to this day. Suddenly a shadow fell over his small form. He turned slowly and looked up at the large man with eyes a rich green dark enough that a few more shades would have left them black._

"_You shouldn't be seeing this, young man," the man said softly, grabbing the poor boy's shoulder. "Let's go outside away from all this."_

_The young boy followed silently, still numb from what he'd seen. The tall man knelt down beside him and started to explain just who the cause of his parents' death was and why he couldn't go to the police. The black-haired boy listened mutely, his eyes blank of any emotion. He couldn't feel anything, but he didn't mind. It would hurt if he could feel. The young boy suddenly realized the man was staring at him intently._

"_Are you alright, son?" he asked._

"_What's your name?" the child heard himself ask, his voice as devoid of emotion as the rest of his body._

"_Bruce. Bruce Wayne," the man replied then paused. "You need a new home, son. How would you like to come live with me?"_

_He stared at the man for a moment then nodded. "Okay."_

At the time, the Boy Wonder had had no idea about Bruce Wayne's secret identity as Batman. In fact at the time, Robin hadn't even been Robin. He'd been Richard John Grayson, the son of John and Mary Grayson. His parents were part of a circus act, an acrobatic act, to be more specific, and were known as the 'Flying Graysons.' Robin had been training since he was three to join them, but his dreams of that were shattered the night they died. But with the shards of that broken dream, a new one had been born, though it had admittedly taken nearly a year for the young Richard to figure out Bruce's secret and construct the dream. With that thought, the memory of the night he'd found out who Batman really was surfaced.

_A seven year old Richard was humming softly as he read in the study. The book was fascinating, all about the recent history of Gotham City. The young child knew that most kids his age wouldn't even understand most of the words in this book, but, as Bruce had told him many times, he was a prodigy at stuff like this. In fact, as long as Richard could remember, he had been hungry for knowledge and good at applying it in real situations. Their butler Alfred Pennyworth came into the room and arched an eyebrow at the young boy._

"_And what are you reading, Master Richard?" he asked, his pleasant baritone rumble making Richard smile as he looked up._

"_A book 'bout Gotham's recent history. It's very interesting."_

"_Ah. What part do you find most interesting?" Alfred asked, kneeling down beside the black-haired boy._

"_I'm not sure. So far, it's when Batman came in to take crime away from the streets."_

_Richard sensed a sudden change in Alfred. It was very, very, very subtle, but it was there in the man's light blue eyes. If a person didn't know the man, they wouldn't have been able to see it. Hell, if they had known the man, they wouldn't have seen it. Richard narrowed his eyes, looking deep into Alfred's and wondering if it was all just an illusion._

"_Is something wrong, Master Richard?" Alfred asked, his voice and eyes carrying only the barest, most remote traces of unease._

"_No," Richard said after a moment. "Just wondering what a word means."_

"_Oh? What word is that?" The unease had been replaced with relief._

"_Enigma. It says, and I quote, 'The true identity of Batman is an enigma that seemingly none can solve.'"_

"_Ah. An enigma is a mystery, a puzzle of sorts," Alfred said with a soft smile._

"_What if somebody did solve it?" Richard asked, watching Alfred's eyes carefully._

"_Then it wouldn't be much of a mystery anymore, now would it?" Alfred replied, his eyes holding that unease again._

"_I guess not." Richard paused. "Where's Bruce?"_

"_Out at a party. He'll be gone most of the night," Alfred answered then stood up. "If you'll pardon me, Master Richard, I must go prepare your dinner."_

"_Okay. Hey, Alfred?"_

"_Yes, Master Richard?"_

"_Call me Dick."_

_Alfred paused and looked at the young boy. "Might I ask why?"_

"_In a book I found, the name 'Dick' is short for Richard. I'm not sure why, but it is. I want my close friends to have a nickname for me, and you and Bruce are the closest and only friends I have at the moment."_

"_Alright…Dick," Alfred said slowly then murmured, "You really are a brilliant boy. Bruce better watch himself."_

That last comment had been the thing that led Robin to find out Bruce's secret. He'd been suspicious for about two and a half months by that point. Bruce hadn't been nearly as careful around Robin as he should have been. The boy had seen everything from the wounds Bruce came home with after his 'parties' to the hurried whispered conversations with Alfred. He'd even seen the entrance to the Batcave once, though he hadn't known that's what it was at the time. Robin blinked slowly, sinking quickly back into the memory.

_The newly dubbed Dick was staring intently into the kitchen, watching Alfred cook. He felt slightly guilty about what he was about to do, but he had to find out once and for all if Bruce Wayne was Batman. Sure he acted all haughty and important, but that was only around guests. Dick knew the billionaire had a much softer, warmer side, and had received those attitudes himself._

_Shaking his thoughts back to the present, the seven year old took out a small pebble, weighing it in his hands as he stared at his target. Dick aimed carefully then launched the pebble at the weakest point in the wood. His aim was dead on. The top shelf holding pots and pans collapsed on one side, spilling its contents down over the three shelves below it, each in turn breaking to scatter their contents over the kitchen floor. Dick only stayed long enough to see that Alfred was occupied for a while before taking off at a sprint in the direction of the study._

_When he got there, he quickly went over to the Shakespeare bust, tilted the head back, and grinned at what he found: a button. He hesitantly pressed it then looked around. There it was. The third bookshelf to the right had opened up, revealing a dark tunnel. After flipping the head of the bust back upright, Dick grabbed a small candelabrum and walked inside. He jumped when the door slid shut behind him, but turned and kept on going._

_The tunnel eventually ended in an enormous cave, and Dick found himself staring around in awe. There were all sorts of machines and weapons down there! His young mind couldn't get enough of all the exciting new things to learn about. Later, Dick would realize that losing track of time coupled with forgetting he wasn't supposed to be there was his downfall. He was looking at some rather interesting weapons when a strong hand grabbed his shoulder and spun him around. The young lad found himself looking into Alfred's angry blue eyes._

"_What are you doing down here, Master Richard?"_

_Dick swallowed nervously-he'd never seen the kind old butler so livid before-and his mouth became dry. "I-I was just looking 'round, Alfred. Bruce said I was welcome to explore the house."_

"_But this isn't part of the house, now is it, Master Richard?"_

"_I don't know, Alfred! Is it?" Dick asked angrily. "And let go of me!"_

"_I shall not. You are to go to your room and stay there until Master Bruce returns home."_

"_Don't you mean until _Batman_ returns home?"_

_Alfred forcefully marched him up out of the cave and shoved him into his room, locking the door from the outside. Dick screamed in outrage and began to beat at the door. He persisted for nigh on fifteen minutes until he had broken the skin on his hands, blood oozing down the inside of the door. He finally gave up, tears of anger streaming down his face. He picked up his bedside lamp and smashed it against the floor, glass flying everywhere. He then proceeded to shatter anything and everything he could get his hands on._

_A half hour later, he was out of things to break. He sat on his absurdly large bed for a moment, still crying, then got up and walked to the window. Rain was streaming down in sheets and it was pitch black outside._

_Being very careful not to get blood on the windowsill, he opened the window and slipped out onto the slick roof. He shut the window quietly, glad for the fact that the windows on the second floor had bad locks that hadn't been replaced. He thought about going down and immediately shot down the idea. He could kill himself, and the thought of falling from his death at the height he was at made his insides quiver in fear. So he did the only logical thing that remained. He climbed up._

_When he was on flat roof, he maneuvered his way to the center and was delighted to find a little square space that seemed to be made of concrete and he settled there, ignoring the sheets of ice cold rain that had already soaked him to the bone. He huddled there, the rain running down his face mixing with the slowing tears. His hands felt bruised and sore and the water that got on them stung, but that was nothing compared to his feet. He had walked over quite a bit of broken glass, and some pieces were still stuck in his flesh. _

_He lost track of time sitting there in the dark, shivering and whimpering until Bruce found him. There was tense silence for a while, broken only by the patter of rain._

"_Richard?" Bruce finally asked quietly, barely audible over the pitter-patter of the rain. Dick said nothing, too angry and hurt. Bruce sighed. "Richard, what's wrong? Talk to me."_

"_You told me when you adopted me that we needn't have any secrets from each other, yet here I find you've kept your very self a secret."_

_Bruce was silent for a moment. He was astounded by this small child's intellect and maturity. It showed not only in his strong grasp of the English language, but also in his adult-like reaction. Any other child Bruce knew would have been crying and screaming about unfairness, but Dick already knew about unfairness. Because of that, he reacted with cold fury and hard words, the reaction of a mature adult._

"_Richard, I'm sorry, but I couldn't tell you," Bruce finally sighed._

"_Why not? I've told you everything about me," Dick replied, keeping his eyes on the stormy horizon._

"_I wasn't sure if you could keep it a secret, but it was wrong of me to think that," Bruce said after another moment's pause. "I know now that you are quite capable of keeping it. Alfred told me that he suspects you've known for a while."_

"_No, I just found out tonight," Dick said quietly. "I suspected though."_

"_How long did you suspect?"_

"_About two and a half months," the black-haired boy replied. "You know, you're really not as sneaky as you think you are."_

"_No, you're just more observant than a boy your age should be," Bruce replied. "And I'm sorry for not telling you."_

"_Hey Bruce?" Dick asked quietly, looking nervously at his surrogate father._

"_Yes?"_

"_Can…can I maybe, possibly join you doing that some day?"_

"_Doing what? Stopping crime?" _

"_Yes sir."_

"_Well…"_

"_Please! I'll train really, really hard! Just as hard as I do acrobatics!" Dick exclaimed._

_Even though his circus dreams were dead, he still practiced acrobatics. He worked on both old and new moves, loving the challenges they presented to him. Because of all the exercise, Dick's seven year old body was fitter and stronger than any other boy his age, hell, than any other boy even near his age, and both Bruce and Alfred had commented on it. However, Dick had shown neither of the men what some of the amazing things he could do with his body. Some of his abilities had freaked people out, and that was back at the circus._

_Bruce hurriedly changed the subject. "Come on now, let's get inside. It's cold and we'll get sick if we stay out here much longer."_

_Robin reluctantly dropped the subject for a while and gone back inside. He let Bruce help him into the house where Alfred was waiting with towels. The butler grabbed the young boy and started to strip him off, but, even at seven, the boy was very shy and self-conscious about his body. Dick slapped Alfred's hands back and bashfully withdrew, his arms crossed over his bare chest with his cheeks burning. Both Bruce and Alfred stared at him for a moment._

"_Something the matter, Dick?" Alfred asked. When Bruce gave him a funny look, the older man smiled. "He discovered the name is derived from Richard and wishes us to refer to him by that name."_

"_Ah. That's interesting," Bruce said with a soft smile then turned to Dick. "So, _is_ something the matter?"_

"_I can towel myself off," Dick replied, keeping his eyes on the floor._

_Alfred chuckled. "You don't have to be shy around us, Dick."_

"_If you want to become my sidekick, you need to lose this shyness around us," Bruce said. _

"_He might become your sidekick? Oh yes, Master Richard, you must lose this bashful behavior."_

"_Why?" Dick asked quietly._

"_Because in this field of work, you get hurt often. Alfred has doctored pretty much every inch of me. In most places, multiple times."_

_Dick swallowed then looked up. "Just in front of you two?"_

"_Yes," they both replied in unison._

_Dick nodded slowly. "I can do that."_

A smile curled Robin's lips as a soft chuckle rumbled in his throat. He had indeed learned not to feel shy around those two men, though it wasn't easy. They had persisted though, and eventually Robin had felt comfortable enough around them. His smile widened when yet another memory cropped up, making him laugh softly. After he'd discovered the Batcave, he was allowed in there as long as he didn't touch anything, and about two weeks after that…

_Dick looked around the room. Mats were laid all over the floor, meant to cushion falls. Dick assumed it was the training room and it was perfect. The young boy smiled as he stripped off his shirt, folding it neatly and setting it neatly in the corner, his shoes following quickly. He took a deep breath, stretching his muscles for a good five minutes. When he was done, he stood up and rolled his shoulders back, and then he started to move._

_Back flips, twirls, and every other acrobatic stunt he could perform were done with ease. He was so intent on what he was doing that he didn't notice when Bruce and Alfred came in and stood frozen at the door. With a perfect double back flip ending in a graceful handstand, Dick flipped back up into standing position. He stood there for a moment, a film of sweat gleaming on his bare skin and his breathing labored, and then slowly sank to his knees. Dick's muscles trembled pleasantly and he smiled._

"_That was amazing, Master Richard!" Alfred exclaimed._

_Dick twisted around, his eyes wide. "Alfred! Bruce! What…what are you doing here?"_

"_Watching you," Bruce replied calmly, a proud smile on his face._

"_Oh…well I was going to show you eventually," the tired little boy mumbled._

Robin ran his fingers through his hair, feeling the slickness of his hair gel even through the gloves he wore. Even though the Boy Wonder didn't want to, he decided to go spend some time with his friends. He was tired of the cascade of memories brought on by the date. Always before he'd requested to be alone to reminisce, but he couldn't do it anymore. The memories of his time with Bruce were even more painful than that of the night his parents fell to their death, and he just couldn't relive them. With a soft sigh, Robin turned and headed down the stairs.

"_Bruce?" Dick asked softly after he was helped up; the training session had left him weak and shaky._

"_Yes, Dick?"_

"_This won't change us, will it?"_

"_No, little birdie, never."_

Robin stumbled, crashing into the wall as he gripped his head. Little birdie. That had been a little nickname Alfred and Bruce had given him after they saw his acrobatics. They'd said he could fly like a little bird, and that had been where he'd eventually gotten his name…

"Robin!"

"No," he groaned softly, sinking to the floor. "No more!"

"Dude? You okay?"

Robin looked up to see the rest of the Titans looking down at him. They were all looking concerned, especially Starfire, but they were also very wary. Robin had lost his temper the day before and that always made the others cautious around him.

"I-I'm fine," Robin lied, struggling to his feet.

Starfire floated a bit closer. "But you-"

"I said I'm fine!" Robin growled, shoving himself off the wall.

"_I said I'm fine Bruce!" Dick exclaimed with a laugh, his eyes shining in amusement._

"_Are you sure? That was a pretty bad fall," Bruce replied worriedly. "Maybe we should take a break._

"_No! I can take more! I promise! I'll tell you when I can't train anymore."_

Robin came out of the memory to find himself back on his knees, his hands pressed against his temples as if to stave off the flashbacks. There was silence for a moment then Cyborg and Beast Boy walked over and knelt down on either side of their leader. Without a word, they both wrapped one arm around Robin's thin waist and lifted him up. They carried him into the living room and set him on the couch, letting go quickly. Robin normally would have protested, but two things stopped him. One, his legs were shaking so badly that he was positive he couldn't walk, and two, if he opened his mouth, he was sure he would start to cry. Robin didn't cry, no matter what.

"You are so not fine," Raven deadpanned.

"You feelin' well man? If you're not, just tell us. We'll take care of you if you are," Cyborg said kindly.

"I'm fine," Robin muttered, bringing his knees to his chest and wrapping his arms around them to try and stop his trembling.

"Robin, you just collapsed in the hall, you're shivering like crazy, and you're paler than Raven!" Beast Boy exclaimed. "If that's fine, I'll eat one of Cyborg's all-kinds-of-meat pizzas!"

Robin shook his head. He couldn't tell them about today because they wouldn't understand. He knew that Cyborg had lost his mother in the accident that had turned him into what he was, and that he hated his father for it. He knew that Raven's father was a demon from another dimension, and that she hardly knew her mother. He knew that Starfire had sister trouble, and that her relationship between her parents. He knew that Beast Boy had lost his parents in a boating accident, and that the green boy felt guilty about what had happened. But none of that mattered to Robin. How could they understand what it was like to see your parents' broken bodies surrounded by what seems like gallons of blood?

"Look," Robin finally sighed. "Today's just a really bad day for me."

"Why?" Starfire asked innocently, her emerald eyes curious.

Robin looked at her and shook his head. "I don't like talking about it," he said, his tone heavy and sad.

Starfire opened her mouth to ask another question, but, to everyone's surprise, Beast Boy placed a hand on her arm. "Don't Star. There are some things that people can't talk about. This is one of them."

Robin smiled thankfully at Beast Boy then looked back down at his gloved hands. The silence filled the room and brought back dark nights of patrolling Gotham City with Bruce. Robin's fists clenched and he bit his bottom lip.

"Please talk about something," Robin said, his voice holding a faint desperation.

"Umm, well the circus is in town," Beast Boy said after a moment.

_Bones crunched and blood sprayed the dirt around the freshly broken bodies…_

"NO!" Robin bellowed, leaping to his feet. Everybody started and looked at him. "NOT that! You can talk about anything but that!"

"Dude, what's your problem?" Cyborg asked.

"Maybe it's cause he dresses like a circus performer?" Beast Boy joked.

Robin went cold. "No. Just no," Robin said, standing up and walking out of the room.

"Dude, I was just kidding!" Beast Boy shouted after him.

The Boy Wonder silently walked to his room, ignoring Beast Boy completely. As the door slid shut behind him, Robin covered his face with his hand and shivered, sinking to his knees. He honestly just wanted this day to end because, when it did, he wouldn't have to think about this again for another year.


	2. Chapter 2

Hey peoples. I decided to post the second chapter so soon because I had already posted the first before. I hope you enjoy!

* * *

Dark nightmares plagued him that night. Nightmares that had him shooting up in his bed and screaming for his father. Several times, he'd come awake to a sharp slap, or yelling, or even ice water being poured on him, yet through it all, he'd refused to cry. Crying wasn't what Robin did. Dick Grayson, on the other hand, was a sensitive boy that needed to cry. So when they left his room for the sixth time that night, he walked over and locked it before pulling off his mask.

As soon as the material left his face, tears began to fall from the clouded grey eyes the mask always hid. His eyes which anybody who knew who of Dick Grayson was would recognize in an instant. Near silent sobs wracked his body and he craved the warm, strong arms of his friend, his mentor, his _father._ He lay there on the floor beside the door for a while, just letting his other half feel. A soft knock at his door interrupted him and he used his calm, cool, collected Robin's voice to answer, not the shaky, pain-filled voice of Dick Grayson.

"Who is it?" he asked, his voice full of confidence he didn't feel anymore.

"It's me, dude," Beast Boy's voice said through the door. "We made breakfast. You're favorite, waffles and bacon with lots of gravy."

_No, _Dick thought. _That's Robin's favorite, not mine. My favorite is Alfred's sweet cherry syrup filled pastry with a nice cup of coffee with real cream and sugar and a small cup of milk to wash down the gooey sweetness._

"Sounds great! I'll be out in a minute. Let me get dressed," Robin's voice said.

Dick sighed and stood, stretching out and popping his back. He stared at the mask and gave a soft hum. Ever since he could remember, he had been conditioned to consider himself two separate people: Robin, the sidekick to Batman, and Dick Grayson, young playboy with a troubled past and heir to billions. The mask weighed heavily in his hands and it took all his willpower to raise it back up to his face and press it on. All his pain went back to the place in his mind that Dick Grayson had been locked in for a while now.

He dressed quickly and went out to meet his friends. They all avoided looking at him as he walked into the room. He ignored it and sat down, looking at the plate they'd made for him. Dick hadn't felt hungry, and Robin didn't either, but after an awkward silence he began to eat. He refused to look at them as he polished off the whole plateful. Maybe he had been hungry…

The silence was finally broken by Cyborg.

"So, dude, you gonna tell us what yesterday and last night was about?"

"No," Robin said simply as he sat back and looked at the ceiling.

"Friend Robin," Starfire said quietly. "Do you not trust us with the secret?"

"It's not that I don't trust you, it's just that I don't think you'll understand him," Robin said absentmindedly, too tired and drained to really think about how he referred to his other half.

"Understand who? I thought we were talking about you?" Beast Boy said, his tone confused.

"I…It's complicated," Robin muttered.

"Complicated how?"

"Look, just drop it Beast Boy. I'm not telling you about what happened between me and Bat…" he trailed off and dropped his head into his hands. "Damn," he growled under his breath.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hang on a minute. This is about you and _Batman_?!"

"Among other things, yes," Robin ground out, irritated at himself.

There was silence. Robin knew that they were all curious about what had happened between him and his former mentor. He didn't want to tell them about the heart-shattering fight they had had. Robin had left in tears. Bruce had watched him go with tears streaming down his own face. The Boy Wonder felt so guilty that he had put tears in the eyes of his father figure, who was supposedly a man of no emotion. The tears had kept him from going back those first few nights, and now they made Robin afraid to go back. Afraid of the hatred he was sure he would find in those eyes.

"Hey Rob, you okay?" Cyborg asked quietly.

"Just leave me alone!" Robin exclaimed, some of Dick's emotions burning through.

He turned and stormed out of the room, angry beyond belief. He went to the training room and began to train. Just like Batman had taught him.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hours later Robin was still going at it, despite his trembling limbs. His emotions were still trying to bubble up. He couldn't let them. If his emotions bubbled up he would become Dick Grayson, not Robin. He'd never broken through the invisible barrier that separated his two halves. The door opened and he heard his friends approach, but he didn't stop.

"Um, hey Rob," Cyborg said, sounding unsure of himself. "I think it's time you give it a rest. You've been training for six hours."

"I. Said. Leave. Me. Alone," Robin snarled, punctuating each word with a fierce punch or a deadly kick.

"Robin, just stop already," Raven deadpanned. "You're exhausted."

"I'm fine," he snapped.

"No you're not!" Raven snapped back, raising her voice.

"Dude, you should see yourself! You're pale and flushed all at the same time! You're shivering so hard we can hear your teeth rattle! You're sweating like crazy! All this because you don't wanna tell us something?"

"You-you wouldn't understand," he grunted as he continued to move.

"How do you _know_ that?" Beast Boy asked angrily.

Robin stopped, spun around, and lost his temper. "Because _nobody_ has ever understood! Not Alfred, not Barbara, not Superman, and most certainly not BATMAN!"

He could suddenly feel the exhaustion of his body, and he stumbled back, trying to keep himself upright. Cool, metallic hands caught him and lowered him to the floor. Robin hunched over, trying to keep himself together, trying to keep the barrier between his halves intact. He knew he had failed when his mask became wet. He stayed like he was, though he felt his friends sitting around him, offering their presence as comfort. It wasn't enough.

"I-I can't d-do this anymore," he whimpered.

"Do what, friend Robin?" Starfire asked concernedly.

"Th-this," he moaned.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" Beast Boy asked hopefully.

To everyone's surprise, Robin nodded. "C-can I take a shower first?" he asked, his voice broken.

"Of course you may. Shall we help you to your room?" Starfire asked with a smile.

"Yes please," he whimpered complacently.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Robin sat in the bottom of the shower, just letting the warm water relax his sore, tired muscles. He hadn't cried. Yet. The only tears that had come through were the two when he'd broken. A soft knock on the door to his room had him lift his head.

"Yeah?" he called.

"You okay in there?" Cyborg's voice called back.

"Yeah," Robin responded and forced himself to stand. "Just gimme a few minutes, okay?

He washed his body and hair then stepped out into the cold air and hurriedly dried himself off. He was reaching for a fresh costume when he stopped. He didn't want to be Robin. He was going to be vulnerable, to bare his past and his pain to his friends. Still, there were his eyes. He hated them to a degree. He grabbed only a mask and put it on then reached into the bottom drawer and pulled out some worn out jeans. He slid them on and sighed in delight. He'd missed dressing normal. He pulled on a red t-shirt to go with it then grabbed a black jacket lined with yellow and put it on. He looked in the mirror and brushed his hair just the way Dick did. He was ready. Frightened, yes, but definitely ready. He was tired of hiding who he was from his friends.

He took a deep breath, lowered his head so his hair hung in front of his face, and walked out. He was so stuck on how afraid he was that he didn't hear the footsteps around the corner. He slammed into something hard and metal and hit the floor. Hard. He stayed there, fear riveting him to the spot. What if Cyborg didn't like what Dick looked like?

"Robin? Is that you?" Cyborg asked, kneeling down and taking a good long look.

"Yes…and no," he replied softly.

"What?"

"I…I'll explain in a minute okay?" he asked, the brokenness returning to his voice.

"Okay, okay," Cyborg said soothingly. "Come on then."

Robin allowed Cyborg to lead him to the living room, where he was met with silence. Robin looked up through his hair and noticed the shock on their faces. He felt his cheeks warm as they stared and he was led to the couch. He sat down, his body grateful for the respite, and leaned into the soft cushions of the sofa. He heard, rather than saw, his friends sit around him. Then there was silence.

"Is there going to be no explaining of the secret?" Starfire finally asked.

"I don't know how to begin," Robin admitted in Dick's voice. "There's just so much to tell you…"

He closed his eyes and sighed. Wait. His eyes. That was a good place to start. At least one of them would recognize him and save him the trouble of saying who he was. He sat up straight and reached up to grab his mask, but his hands were shaking so bad that he couldn't. He was so afraid it was palpable, and one glance around told him that they all knew his current feelings.

"Did we do anything to make you fear us?" Starfire asked.

"N-no," Robin moaned. "It's just been so long…."

"I-I could do it for you," Beast Boy said shyly.

There was silence for a second. "Okay."

Robin closed his eyes as Beast Boy swept his hair aside and grabbed the edges of his mask. He felt his whole body tense as the boy began to pull then it was all over and he relaxed. He could feel them staring at his face, waiting. Robin took a deep breath then opened his eyes.

"Y-you?!" Beast Boy and Cyborg exclaimed at the same time.

"I do not understand. Who is Robin?" Starfire asked.

"Richard," Dick said with a crooked, albeit tired smile. "Richard Grayson. But you all are my…Are you still my…?"

Dick struggled to articulate his fears. He and Robin's fears had mixed and he didn't know what to do about it. So he just stayed mute and looked away.

"Are we still your…what? Friends?" Cyborg finally asked.

Dick nodded. "Yeah, that."

"Of course we are still your friends!" Starfire exclaimed.

"Yeah, man, just 'cause you're famous doesn't mean we don't want to be your friends," Cyborg said with a grin.

Dick smiled and relaxed further, allowing his tiredness and relief to show, something Robin tried to hide. "That's...I…Thanks," he said gratefully, leaning his head back and closing his eyes. "I thought for sure you'd only like Robin, not me."

"I do not understand. Are you not the same person?" Starfire asked confused.

"Yes and no," he replied.

"What does that even mean man?" Cyborg asked irritably.

Dick took a deep breath. "I've been conditioned to think of myself as two completely different people. They don't know each other, but are contained in me. One half of me is Robin, the fearless leader that you know. The other half is Dick Grayson, young playboy and heir to billions. The strain of not being able to be myself…broke the thing that separated them. I need to rebuild it. I can't be just one person. Not anymore."

"I get why yesterday was so bad, Richard," Beast Boy said quietly. "That was the day _it_ happened, right?"

"Yeah. Both its."

"Huh?"

"It's the day my parents fell to their deaths, and the day, or rather night, I left Batman. It…hurts. Oh, and my friends call me Dick."

"I thought that was a word we are not to be saying," Starfire said, her brows furrowed.

"When you're using it in a derogatory sense, yes, it is a bad word. When you're using it as a person's actual name, no it's not. Though many people do consider Dick Grayson to be a…well, they think my namesake is well deserved."

"Who are you really?" Raven asked with an arched eyebrow.

"I hardly know anymore. The only place I've ever really been myself is Wayne Manor," Dick said sadly.

"Well, why not be yourself in Titans tower?" Beast Boy asked.

"…Would you let me?"

"We're all ourselves here. No reason you shouldn't be," the green boy replied with a smile.

"Now, you need to go to bed," Cyborg said.

"But…I thought I was supposed to explain the argument…"

"What argument?" Raven asked.

"Between me and Bats," Dick said, his eyes beginning to burn.

"If you feel you're up to it," Cyborg said.

"I'll never feel up to it," the boy muttered. "He and I used to be so close. I still remember the day he comforted me for my parents' death. He held me like I was his own child. We've never called each other 'father' or 'son', but the implication was there.

"It all started the night I was shot by the Joker. Bats was out of his mind with anger and worry. He took me home and he and Alfred patched up my shoulder. He waited a couple of days then talked about clipping my wings."

"Clipping your wings?" Beast Boy asked.

"Taking away my costume, my weapons, my crime fighting. Taking away half of myself," Dick said, his voice suddenly cold as Robin's when he was angry.

"Oh…can he do that?"

"He could take away access to the Batcave, and access to the weapons, and my costume. He knew how in a way that would take me forever to circumnavigate it. He caught me just as I finished packing to leave…"

_"What are you doing Dick?" the deep, cold voice said._

_Dick didn't answer, tightening the pack on his R-Cycle. He could feel his back prickling with the glare Batman was hitting him with, and he did his best to ignore it. Batman, on the other hand, did not give up and kept his stare up until he turned around and boldly met his mentor's masked eyes, which was a feat in and of itself._

_"I'm leaving before you clip my wings," he said, his voice controlled._

_"You're leaving," Batman asked, his voice sounding amused._

_"Yes," Dick said, his confidence failing as the Batman silently laughed at him._

_"And where, my young protégé, will you go?"_

_"I don't know," Dick replied, "Maybe Jump City."_

_"Oh, come now Dick," Batman said as he took his cowl off to reveal Bruce Wayne's deep green eyes…_

"Bruce Wayne is the Batman?" Beast Boy exclaimed. Dick glared at him. "Oh…sorry, you just surprised me. I guess I should have expected that…Continue."

"Anyways," Dick said with a roll of his eyes.

_"This is all a good show, but we both know you'll stay right here," Bruce finished with a shake of his head._

_"That depends. Are you going to let me go out on the town with you anymore?"_

_The amusement drained from those green eyes. "What do you expect me to do, Dick. You were _shot_!"_

_"I'm fine Bruce. Look, it's only been a week and I'm healing fine! I can still do this."_

_"You're _not_ going to!"_

_"Why the hell not?!"_

_"Because I said so."_

_Those last four words pushed Dick's already boiling temper over the edge. "Oh, so that means I should just drop everything and do as you say, right?"_

_"I am your father…"_

_"NO! You are NOT my father! My father died right in front of me in the circus! You are not my father, and you will _never_ be my father! You're cold and uncaring and unfeeling and you don't care what I want! What I NEED, Bruce! I can't just go back to being a civvie!" Dick screamed, tears streaming down his face._

_"You can and you _will_!" Bruce rasped, tears sparkling in his eyes._

_"No! I won't!" Dick shouted. "I'm not just going to lie down like your fucking parents did and die on the streets defenseless!"_

_That pushed the seemingly cold man over the edge and tears began to ooze down his cheeks even as they grew red with anger._

_"I raised you damn it! You _will_ show me respect," Bruce snapped, grabbing his protégé's arm hard enough to bruise._

_"Master Dick, Master Bruce, I brought you…What is going on here?" Alfred asked, slowing down as he witnessed the two people least likely expected to tear up crying right in front of him._

_Dick tore his arm from Bruce's slackened grip and threw his leg over the motorcycle. He started it and revved the engine, turning to look back one last time before he took off. The image he saw was burned permanently into his memory. Bruce standing there in shock with a tear-streaked face, staring at him through blank eyes, and Alfred standing there with the forgotten letter in his hand, his eyes wide and disbelieving as their young ward shot off into the night._

Dick went silent for a moment. "After that I came to Jump City, met you all, and you know the rest."

"Why did you never go back?" Beast Boy asked.

Dick covered his eyes and let a whimper escape his throat. "I'm too afraid."

"Of what?"

"That that look in Bruce's eyes became hatred. I can't bear to have him hate me. I'd rather not know than be sure he hates me."

"How can you live not knowing?" Raven asked.

"It's hard," Dick admitted, leaning his head back and closing his eyes.

"Okay, now," Cyborg admonished. "That's enough talk for now. We can always talk tomorrow. Bed time."


	3. Chapter 3

Here's the next chapter peoples. :) Please enjoy!

* * *

As the Titans got used to Dick Grayson, they found they liked this sweeter, more sensitive side of Robin. He could still turn into Robin at the drop of a pin, so the city was fine, but he rather liked being himself. Dick had, at Beast Boy's insistence, done an impression of the playboy heir side of himself he showed to the media, and it left both Starfire and Raven blushing, while Cyborg and Beast Boy were flabbergasted and awed.

Days turned into weeks and they got even more comfortable around him. It was going well up to the point Starfire asked him if he would be willing to go back home.

"I am not comfortable with you being so unsure, Dick," she said kindly. "And besides, if you do find out he…does not like you anymore, you can always come back with us!"

From then on, she and the other Titans began to persuade him that he should go back. Finally, after a few weeks of prodding, he came into the living room with his decision.

"I think it is time I go home, if only to see Alfred. I'd like you to see where I grew up."

They began preparations immediately. Within a week, they were ready, or in Dick's case, as ready as he'd ever be. They contacted the Titans East and asked them to look after things and left, travelling swiftly. It was Robin the Titans travelled with on that journey.

When they eventually got to Gotham, it was dusk. By the time they'd gotten to Wayne Manor, Robin knew Batman would be out, which left Alfred at the house. He got them all up to the front door and behind the cover of some bushes changed into his civvies. He came out, looking frightened and stood in front of the door with them behind him for an eternity before Cyborg placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"Just do it man," he said with a lopsided smile.

Dick took a deep breath, raised his hands to the bell rope and pulled. The clanging of the bells made the poor boy feel sick and he paled and was about to bolt, or try to, when the door opened and Alfred stood there staring at him. The tray he was carrying in one hand clattered to the floor as he saw who was standing there.

"M-master Dick?" he asked, his British accent thick with emotion.

"H-hey, Alfred," Dick said nervously, shuffling his feet.

Alfred was standing stock still one moment and the next he had pulled the boy into an embrace, crying. Dick gasped then returned the hug as well as he could. They stayed like that for what seemed like ages before they broke apart. Dick rubbed his eyes and smiled, gesturing behind him.

"I have no doubt you and Bruce will know who they are."

"Of course, Dick. You really think we wouldn't follow your own adventures? Where are my manners? Come on in."

Dick led them inside the house and Beast Boy gave a cry of delight and began darting around to try and see everything at once. Starfire was starry-eyed and Cyborg looked as excited as Beast Boy. Raven managed a small smile and her eyebrows raised up, but other than that there was no outward signs of happiness for her.

"I'll go put on some tea for you Master Dick. What will your friends have?"

"Raven will have tea, Cyborg will have coffee, Beast Boy will have soda, and Starfire will have mustard."

Alfred gave him a bizarre look. "Um, mustard, Master Dick?"

"She's not from Earth, Alfred. She's Tamaranian. She likes mustard. Give her mustard in a cup," Dick said with a smile as he tried not to laugh. "Now, they want to see the Batcave."

"They're not allowed to touch anything," Alfred said with a raised eyebrow.

"I know. Come on guys."

Dick led them down to the Batcave with ease, remembering the many times he'd run down the tunnels to join up with his mentor to fight some gang or another. He missed it and it must have shown on his face because Raven placed a hand on his shoulder. Dick smiled at her and watched as her eyes widened when they got to the cave.

Beast Boy did his run-around-like-you're-crazy routine and dropped at Dick's feet as a dog, panting. Dick sniggered and walked over to the familiar chair and plopped down, spinning around lazily as the others explored. Alfred brought their drinks and looked rather sick as Starfire smiled and downed half the mustard at once. He excused himself quickly.

"Call if you need me, Master Dick," Alfred said with a tender smile.

"Of course, Alfred," Dick replied.

He lazily drew his hands across the familiar keyboard and, without thinking, typed in the old password. He was surprised when the computer immediately accepted it. He began going through the old villain files, pausing on the Joker's.

"He's insane," Beast Boy murmured and Dick started, turning to see his friends behind him.

Dick began clicking through the carefully labeled files, some more horrid than others. He showed just how crazy the Joker was. As if on cue, just as he finished a loud, rapid beeping came from the computer. He didn't even think before he typed in the code to receive the audio.

"Alfred! Arkham had a breakout. Call everyone. Joker is going to go after Dick! Alfred, Alfred?!"

The teens stood frozen for a moment. There was a sound of laughter and the transmission suddenly cut short. Anger flared in Dick before he knew what hit him.

"Joker," he snarled, the hatred in his voice greater with the clown-like villain than even Slade. "It's his fault Bruce and I fought. It's all his fault!"

He pulled his mask out of his pocket and put it on then flipped open his Titans communicator and punched in a number.

"You two wanna have some fun?"

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Robin observed the scene carefully then looked to the sky to see about the coming storm. He could see it swiftly approaching from the eastern horizon. He could see the rest of his team in position. He noticed Batman wasn't the only one captured by the Joker, and he snickered softly at the thought of Aqualad and Speedy rescuing their mentors.

He watched as Joker circled Batman, laughing manically about something or other. He paid no attention until with a flash, a gun was drawn. Robin leaped into action before he thought about it even as the storm arrived overhead. He lunged down, using a grappling hook and slammed full force into the Joker, who gasped in surprise. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Batman's eyes widen and a small smile decorated his face.

"Little birdie!" Joker gasped. "If I had known you were coming I would have brought more toys. Oh well."

Joker lifted the gun again and pointed it at Batman. Robin moved in front of the gun as the trigger was pulled multiple times. The shots hit him like punches, each one hitting a different spot. The pain was so great that he collapsed onto the ground. He heard Batman cry out in horror and he could hear Starfire's scream of loss. The Joker laughed happily and Robin opened his eyes and looked up. Lightning flashed in the sky and he smiled up at the teen force of nature, but Joker didn't realize what he was smiling about and he laughed.

"Is the light pretty, little birdie?"

"His name is Lightning actually," Robin said with a grin as he sat up. "And I'd say he's more handsome than pretty."

Joker frowned. "That isn't funny little birdie."

Robin clicked open the communicator he'd had in his hands and said two words.

"Titans, go!"

Lightning and Thunder shot down from the cloud, carrying with them Aqualad and Speedy. They slammed into the ground, leaving a small crater. Speedy immediately drew an arrow and began firing, enjoying his mentor's soft gasp of surprise. Aqualad pulled the rainwater together into blades and began to fight, ignoring his own mentor's cry of delight.

Robin forced himself up, in spite of the pain radiating from his chest. He could feel Batman's startled gaze on him.

"How?" the one word that could be any number of questions.

"I upgraded my suit."

There. The first words he'd spoken to Batman in two years. He was almost immediately distracted from that thought by an attack from the Mad Hatter and Poison Ivy. Robin heard a sonic boom as Thunder and Lightning began to 'play.' He smiled and ducked an attack, only for a knife to flash towards him. It was stopped midair by a seemingly invisible force. The Boy Wonder smiled and patted the invisible bear.

"Thanks, Bobby," he said. "Hello Melvin. How are you?"

"I'm good," she said and looked up at Bobby. "Bobby says that these men are dangerous and mean."

"Yes. Yes they are," Robin said before launching himself up and over the Mad Hatter.

There was a flash of speed and suddenly the Mad Hatter went flying and Kid Flash stood in his place, grinning at Robin.

"I got that one!" he said proudly.

"Yeah, yeah, you got him. Now go help Bobby."

"…Who?"

"The sixteen foot high stuffed bear," Robin said and he could feel Batman's incredulous stare.

"Yeah. Right," Kid Flash said with a 'you're crazy' smile. "I'm just going to run around and help _real _people."

"Oh, Bobby's real alright," Robin assured him before he sped off.

Robin quite suddenly was facing the Joker alone. He could hear Starfire's starbolts, Cyborg's weapons, Beast Boy's…well, his animal noises, and he could feel Raven's dark power, but it all faded as he stared at the man he had to blame for his fight with Batman.

"You haven't grown much, little birdie," Joker crooned.

"I have, Joker, just in ways you can't see," Robin said, his voice holding anger.

Without any preamble, they lunged forward and was suddenly locked with each other in combat. Each blow was familiar, with Robin used to fighting Joker. The old moves came back to him without thought and he bared his teeth in a feral grin.

It was a fierce dance, and the other combatants seemed to melt away before them. Robin finally pinned Joker to a wall, glaring into his crazed eyes. Joker laughed, spinning them around, and Robin slugged him. He stumbled back and pulled the gun again, pointing it back at Batman. Robin twisted the Joker's hand, grabbing the gun. He spun a full 360 degrees and fired.

The battlefield went dead silent. The only sound was the heavy breathing. The Joker stood there, blood oozing from his shoulder where he'd been shot. He looked bewildered and sank to his knees.

"Well well, the little birdie can shoot, but you missed my head," the Joker finally laughed.

"This 'little birdie' wasn't trying to kill you," Robin said coldly, kicking the Joker to the ground and pulling out restraints to put over his hands.

One by one, the other Arkham prisoners fell under the combined force of many of the Teen Titans. Robin, Aqualad, and Speedy were all acutely aware of the adults' stares, but ignored them in favor of their team. When the battle was over, they all looked around and Robin smiled.

"Good job Titans," Robin said proudly.

He heard a _snick_ and suddenly knew Batman wasn't tied up anymore. He swallowed nervously and wanted to crawl into a hole, but he forced a smile as Thunder and Lightning approached.

"That was fun!" Lightning said with a grin. "You should call us more often!"

"Yes," Thunder rumbled. "It feels good to do good."

"I'm glad you two liked it," Robin said. "By the way, the training center that we're building for you two is almost done. It's going to be perfect for your abilities. I'd like to see just how powerful you are."

"It will make music for us, yes?" Thunder asked eagerly.

"Of course," Robin said with crooked smile.

Speedy came up behind him and placed a trembling hand on his shoulder. Robin turned and arched an eyebrow.

"What's up?"

"I can't do it, Robin. I can't face Green Arrow. I wanna go home," he said, his voice quivering.

"Hey, you don't have to face him now, but you will eventually," Robin said gently. "Wouldn't it be better to get it over with?"

"I could ask the same about you."

"Look, just do it," Robin said irritably.

"Speedy!" Green Arrow exclaimed, waving him over.

The red-haired teen looked at Robin desperately before turning and hurrying over. Robin watched him go sadly. Thunder and Lightning looked confused.

"I do not understand. Are they not friends?" Thunder asked.

"It's not that," Robin said quietly. "It's just…they had a falling out. Speedy got into some heavy shit three years ago and Green Arrow kicked him onto the streets."

"I do not understand. What could he have done that was so bad?" Lightning queried.

"Drugs," Robin said bitterly. "I helped him kick the habit. He never did go back, though. Green Arrow roughed him up in his emotional state and Speedy is unsure how safe he is around him."

"What are drugs?" Thunder asked.

"Look, I don't have time to explain right now. They're just not good for a person, okay?" Robin said quickly. "Now, I know you had fun, but I think it's best if you leave now. In fact, that's exactly what my team's going to do. Tell Melvin and the others that you'll take them home, okay?"

Robin looked over his shoulder to see Batman and Green Arrow talking to a nervous looking Speedy. Cyborg, Raven, Starfire, and Beast Boy came over and Robin immediately started walking away, fear making his gut clench.

"Robin, where are we going?" Starfire asked they all followed him.

"Back to the house," he muttered, absentmindedly rubbing his chest. "I need to see Alfred."

"Why?" Raven asked. "I thought we were here to see him," she said, pointing at the dwindling figure of Batman.

Robin lowered his head and muttered in Dick's voice, "I'm still scared Raven. And I can't face him in front of Green Arrow and Aquaman. I just can't. I wouldn't mind it in front of you guys, but they're different. They can be harsh, and Bruce is all the harsh I can take in one setting. Besides, I'm pretty sure my ribs are bruised. Alfred needs to take a look at them. Now, can we fly there?"

"Are you asking us or telling us?" Beast Boy asked.

"Telling you," Robin said in his own voice.

Cyborg got onto Raven's dark energy disk and Starfire gently picked Robin up. Beast Boy changed into his pterodactyl form and off they went. They arrived quickly and slipped in through the Batcave entrance. Robin changed out of his costume and suddenly became Dick Grayson again, who noticed that his chest was hurting rather badly.

"Yeah, bruised ribs," he muttered, coming out from where he'd been changing.

"What about bruised ribs?" Alfred asked, just coming into the Batcave.

"I got shot again. Five times," Dick said softly, watching Alfred freeze. "But I upgraded my costume, weaving in special material that made it bullet proof. My chest still hurts though, and I got my arm slashed open pretty bad."

"Upstairs and out of the shirt," Alfred demanded.

Five minutes later, Dick was sitting in nothing but jeans in the study watching as Alfred sewed up his arm. The other Titans were sipping drinks, or in Starfire's case mustard, and carefully avoiding looking at Dick's open wound. Beast Boy had promptly gagged as soon as he saw the torn flesh, and the others weren't stupid enough to look.

"There we are, Master Dick," Alfred said as he swiped a washcloth with alcohol on it over the wound one final time. "Now, let's have a look at those ribs."

Dick flinched as Alfred inspected him thoroughly. He was upset to learn that he did, indeed, have bruised ribs. In fact, his chest appeared to be one big bruise. A door shut somewhere in the house and Dick looked up, fear making his heart pound in his chest.

"Alfred!" Bruce called. "Alfred, is he here? Did he leave us again?" There was a heart-wrenching tone in that voice.

Bruce suddenly appeared, hurrying into the study. He promptly froze as soon as he saw Dick sitting in the chair. The two stared at each other for long moment, unable to move. Bruce composed himself and stood up straight.

"Dick," he greeted in a blank voice.

"Hey, Bruce," Dick returned with the same tone.

"You came back," he said, sounding nonchalant about it.

"Yep."

The silence was so thick you could cut it with a knife. Dick had his eyes glued on the floor. Alfred stood there behind the boy, his hands resting on his shoulders. The Titans were nervously looking between Dick and Alfred and Bruce.

"Master Bruce," Alfred finally said. "Know that if you screw this up, I shall never forgive you."

With that said, Alfred ushered the Titans out and left the two alone.


	4. Chapter 4

Here's a short chapter. I tried, but couldn't lengthen it any without going over into the next chapter. I hope y'all enjoy!

* * *

Dick swallowed nervously and rubbed his chest absentmindedly. He really wished he were anywhere but Wayne Manor at that moment. Bruce was silent for a moment before walking forward and sitting on the couch across from the boy. More silence ensued.

"Well…" Bruce finally said. "How have you been?"

"Really?" Dick asked with a snort. "_That's_ what you want to ask me?"

"No, but it's a good start."

Dick shrugged at that. "I'm fine. A bit…Well, fine overall."

"How's your chest?"

"Bruised ribs."

"Yikes."

"Yeah," Dick muttered.

More silence. Dick sighed and leaned back into the chair. He lay there until Bruce stunned him with a question he had hoped he'd never face.

"Look, this playing around is ridiculous. Why on earth did you attempt to steal from me?"

Dick felt sick to his stomach and he could feel himself pale. He swallowed and concentrated all his attention on a spot on the floor. He felt tears sting his eyes and he sighed.

"I…It's something…He made me do it," the boy finally answered.

"Don't lie to me," Bruce said angrily, standing up.

"I'm not," Dick said brokenly, slumping his shoulders.

Something in his body language must have told Bruce that he was telling the truth because his demeanor softened and he reached over.

"Who?"

"Slade," Dick said quietly, his tone full of burning anger. "He blackmailed me. He threatened to kill my friends if I didn't do what he said. I couldn't watch them die…" he trailed off and tears poured down his cheeks. "I hate him. He's gone now, but I still hate him."

Bruce continued to watch him silently.

"Damn it, Bruce, say something!" Dick shouted. "Tell me you hate me! Tell me I'm horrible for doing that! Tell me you never want to see me again!"

Bruce sighed softly and stood, coming over to kneel in front of the teary-eyed boy. "I can't say any of those things, Dick, because none of them are true."

"They…They're not? But you're supposed to hate me, Bruce."

"Why?" the man asked, genuinely confused.

"Because I hurt you. Because I said those horrible things a couple years ago. Because you can't possibly love a circus freak who can't even handle his own emotions."

Bruce suddenly pulled him into a warm embrace and Dick lost it, sobbing desperately into Bruce's shoulder. He gripped his mentor tightly, not wanting to let go and come back to himself. Bruce held him, rubbing his back comfortingly. When he finally calmed down, Bruce pushed him an arm's length away.

"Dick, I never could hate you. We've been through too much together. I love you, differences and all." He paused to hug the boy again. "Oh, and one more thing. You're not a circus freak. You're my son."

"Son?" Dick asked quietly. "I'm…your son? You actually said it."

"Yes. You should know that."

"Thanks…Dad," Dick replied then laughed softly. "I was so worried about you hating me all these years that I didn't come back. Now I find out you still care."

"Always," Bruce said with a warm smile.

Dick snuggled into yet another hug then pulled back and smiled. "You think my friends and I could stay for supper?"

"Of course," Bruce said with a laugh. "I'm sure Alfred has already started it, with you in mind."

They walked down the hall into the dining room together to find Alfred had already filled the table with good things to eat and had seated his friends. Dick hurried over and seated himself in his chair beside Raven and across from Starfire, who smiled at him.

"On Tamaran, such a feast would mean you were engaged to be married. Tell me, who is the lucky one?"

Alfred froze where he was and Dick laughed. "Nobody Star, this is just a big meal with friends."

"Oh, alright," she said. "May we now begin the dining?"

"Don't forget we're on Earth, not Tamaran," Dick warned, knowing how violent and messy Tamaranian eating was.

"Yes, Dick," Starfire said, her eyes sparkling. "But may we eat?"

"Yes," Alfred replied, setting the final dish down.

"Sit with us, Alfred," Dick said. "Eat with us."

Alfred hesitated before doing as the young boy asked. They sat and ate together happily, the conversation flowing naturally. Dick felt better than he had in years. After dinner, he and Bruce took a walk back to the study and sat down. They talked quietly about their adventures away from each other. Dick was just telling Bruce about the horrible date he'd had with Kitten when something happened that he hadn't expected.

"Hey Dad, are you home?"

Dick turned to look at the door and froze. There was a boy about twelve with strawberry blonde hair staring at him with big blue eyes staring at him. Dick felt his jaw drop as he realized what had happened. He felt rage build within him as he leaped up and gave a yell of outrage. His friends came running, pushing past the boy Dick was drilling into the ground with his eyes. The boy was cowering away from him and jumped as Dick spoke in a voice so full of anger that it was cold, not hot.

"You _replaced_ me?!"

"Dick, I could never-" Bruce started.

"Well, _obviously_ you did. He's standing _right there_ Bruce! What's his name, huh? Why does _he_ get to call you Dad when I didn't for all those years? Is playing with my emotions just a big game to you? You were just saying all that stuff, weren't you? Pretending I was him, is that it? Huh?"

"No! No, Dick, I meant all that I said. I just…he was an orphan and needed a home, so I did what I did with you. I took him in, gave him a home! Are you going to begrudge him that?"

Dick felt his heart break at the gentleness in that voice, the tenderness he had always strived to get and rarely received. He felt the dam break again and he was crying.

"I hate you! All you do is hurt me. You and all the great superheroes pretty much abuse your sidekicks, pushing us to limits that we can barely reach. You don't give a damn about me. You have _him_ now. You're just like Green Arrow. When you find out I'm not perfect, that I do things people my age aren't supposed to do, you kick me out. This has to do with my drinking doesn't it?!"

"What? No, Dick, I-"

"Shut up! Just shut the hell up! I never want to see you again! You already have a son, so just hope he can save your ass next time you need it! Come on, guys, we're leaving!"

Dick walked away and didn't look back.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

For a few months, Dick and the Titans went back and acted like the visit had never happened. Everything changed when Dick had the dream. He had seen the boy with strawberry blonde hair again. The Joker stood above him, a bloody knife in his hand and laughing maniacally. Dick sat straight up in bed and gasped, breathing heavily.

He got up and began pacing. The last time he'd had a dream like that, it had come true. What was he supposed to do now? He couldn't just let the boy die…could he?


	5. Chapter 5

Here we go! This is the fun part! Now, should I run this into a sequel or just continue this in one document? And I will take suggestions about Jason. You'll know what I mean when you get to the end of this chapter!

* * *

The building was going to explode and the Robin that was really Jason Todd was terrified. He was going to die and there was nothing anybody could do to stop it. The bomb was ticking slowly down. He couldn't move. He was too beaten and bloody. He was almost dead. He began to cry. He tried crawling, but could barely get anywhere. Hands suddenly touched him and he broke.

"No more!" he sobbed. "Please, Joker, no more!"

"I'm going to kill that son of a bitch," a voice said. Jason turned over to see…

"Robin," he croaked. "B-bomb."

"I know, Jason. Hush now. I'm going to get you out of here."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Nooooo!" Batman screamed as the building exploded, fire and debris raining down from the heavens.

He stood there numbly. His Robin was gone. Worse, his _son_ was gone. He collapsed to his knees and felt his heart sink. This was what he had feared with Dick. Now it had come true with Jason. He slowly got to his feet and linked up to the Bat Cave.

"Batman. Whatever's the matter?" Alfred asked.

Batman could feel the tears in his voice. "He's gone. He's just…gone."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Jason twisted and turned then slowly opened his eyes. He found himself staring up at what looked like instruments of torture. He gasped and tried desperately to get up, but pain put him back on the bed. He whimpered, knowing he wouldn't be able to take much more torture.

"Calm down, Robin," a soft voice said.

"D-Dick!" he gasped, forcing himself to sit up. "B-but the building! Joker!"

"I got you out before it exploded. Everyone that's outside of the Teen Titans thinks you're dead. Fixit has been working on you. He really is a great doctor, to machines and people. There's only…one thing."

"What?"

"First, tell me your name. I'm Dick Grayson, adopted oldest son of billionaire Bruce Wayne. You are?"

"Jason Todd," the boy said with a hesitant smile. "Second adopted son of Bruce Wayne."

"Good. Now Jason, there's something I need to tell you. Your leg…didn't quite survive the beating. He basically beat your lower right leg off…"

"W-what?!" Jason asked frantically and pulled the blanket off his naked form before Dick could stop him.

Dick grabbed the boy's hand before he could scream. "Calm down Jason. Tamaranians have a diamond infused metal that they've created. We're going to use that for your bones. Starfire and the others have gone to get it. Fixit has taken some skin cells from you and has created a synthetic skin that will melt together perfectly with your own. Nobody outside of the Teen Titans will know you have a fake leg."

"But how will I fight?"

"Once you get used to it, you'll have no trouble fighting. In the meanwhile, you're just stuck in bed or stuck with crutches."

Jason began to cry. Dick sat down on the makeshift bed and hugged the distraught boy. He covered his brother up to preserve his modesty as he took a deep breath and decided to spill his biggest secret to the boy, a secret only two others knew.

"He broke you? And I don't just mean your bones. He broke _you_?"

Jason looked up at him, his eyes raw and hurt. "Yes," he whispered.

"Welcome to the club," a voice said and Jason turned to see a redheaded boy and a black haired boy.

"Who are they?"

"My superhero's name is Speedy. I was Green Arrow's sidekick once upon a time. Real name's Roy Harper," the redhead said, grinning.

"My name Aqualad. Real name is Garth. Just Garth. I was Aquaman's sidekick many moons ago," the black haired one said.

"Oh, hi," Jason said shyly. "What club?"

"The club of young superheroes who've been broken in one way or another," Roy replied.

"How have you been broken?" Jason asked bitterly.

"Aquaman tried to kill me," Garth replied, a strange smile on his face. "To save his son. His son was killed anyways. He tried to apologize, but I wasn't going to take it."

"And you?" he asked Roy.

"My mentor was always rough. After a close call, he began yelling at me. And yelling. And yelling," Roy murmured, looking up at the boy through blank eyes. "I tried to hide it at first through drugs, but that just made him madder. Dick and Garth helped me kick the habit, but got me into a worse one."

"What was that?"

"Ask Dick. He started it."

Jason looked confused as he turned to Dick. "But that would mean that you're broken too?"

"Yes. In the worst way," Dick admitted calmly, playing with his hands.

"How?"

Dick looked up slowly. "Joker. He…did things to me."

"What?"

Dick sighed. "It was a normal day on the job. Joker had escaped Arkham. I was about your age, I believe, and we had gone to his then-current lair to face him. Bats was knocked out by knock out gas almost as soon as we got there. Joker kept him out for four days. Those four days were the worst of my life. Joker tortured me, which I could handle. What I couldn't handle was the rape."

"He…?" Jason trailed off in horror.

"Multiple times. Bats never found out. I never told anybody except for those in this room. And you won't tell anybody either."

The calm threat scared Jason, but he did feel better knowing that he wasn't the only one that was hurting. He hugged Dick and smiled.

"It's okay, Dick. I won't tell anybody."

"Good boy."

"Now…what is it that you got him into that's worse than drugs?"

Dick gave a funny smile. "You're looking at the double crossers. I'm also known as Circus Freak."

"The teenage villain?" Jason gasped.

"Yep."

"That means that you two…"

"Tidal Wave," Garth said with a bow.

"Music Meister," Roy replied with a happy grin. "My older brother's the one in jail. I'm the one who really first discovered our musical capability."

"You three are notorious for never getting caught," Jason said, looking a little fearful. "So let me get this straight, you three are civvie people who have secret lives who have secret lives?"

"Basically," Roy said with a smirk.

"But it's not really our faults," Dick said quietly. "We were hurt. Badly. So we just take out our insanity on others. We don't kill. We just…cause a little mayhem. If you go through the reports of when we attack, you'll find that no deaths occurred."

"What do you do with the stuff you steal?" Jason asked curiously.

"We sell it on the black market to make a little cash to fund our illicit activities. We buy our materials secretly under false names," Garth replied.

"We don't use any of Bruce's money for fear he would find out what we spent it on," Dick said.

There was silence and Jason snuggled close to Dick as he thought. He finally looked up at his older brother.

"Dick, what would I be called and what can I do?"

"That depends. Play on your strengths," Dick said without skipping a beat.

They went silent again and Jason slowly fell asleep against his brother. As he did, he knew that it would be fun to exercise his brokenness in the guise of insanity. He could most certainly see the appeal. And the best part was that he had a secret to share with a brother. A brother! He smiled and Dick gently wrapped his arms around him. After he was asleep, Dick looked up sadly at his friends.

"Things will never be the same for him," he said miserably. "He will always be broken. And nothing will ever fix what happened."

"We will be with him, though," Roy replied, embracing the distraught teen. "It's all we can be for him."

"I just hope Bruce doesn't discover our insanity. If he does, things would be disastrous."

"He thinks the boy's dead. Let's let him keep thinking that, and then he can be whatever villain he wants to be."

Dick nodded then looked down. "I don't want _anybody_ to discover our insanity, not even the other Titans."

"Bumblebee would have a fit," Roy said and Garth nodded.

"Not to mention Màs y Menos. They would be confused and upset."

"My friends would probably hate me and never trust me again. Especially after the Red X incident," Dick sighed.

"All we can do is hope they never find out. At least until we're dead," Roy said gently.


End file.
